But I Don't Love you
by Reality-Keeps-Me-Dreaming
Summary: Paul? My imprint? My soulmate? No. That doesn't work. And for one reason only; I love somebody else. More specifically, I love Seth Clearwater. He was the one that let me cry on him, he was the one that helped me. I love him, I just know it. Paul/OC/Seth
1. Where'd he go?

But I Don't Love you

**~Author Note~**

Hello all of those lovely readers and fantastic writers. I may not be exactly a well known author here on fan fiction, but my goal is to become one. I'm not exactly positive on how good my writing is, I refuse to let anyone but total strangers - A.K.A the readers such as yourselves - read my writing. Mostly because I can expect an honest answer from you guys.

Unlike the obligated positive input I'd get from my family, friends, or teachers. I mean, they're _suppose_ to support me. Which is great, don't get me wrong, but I think the outcome for fan fiction will be a bit more honest. So that means…review? Tell me what you think. My second fan fiction:) Which is also inspired by another song that I was listening to, Falling in by Lifehouse. The lyrics are really beautiful and have a good meaning, I advice you guys to check it out if you haven't:)

**~Disclaimer~**

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight

**~Reality-Keeps-Me-Dreaming~**

* * *

><p>Every time I see your face<br>My heart takes off on a high speed chase  
>Now don't be scared, it's only love<br>Baby, that we're falling in  
>I can't wait to tomorrow<br>This feeling has swallowed me whole  
>And know I've lost control<p>

**Chapter one: **Where'd he go?

"Do you want to come over tomorrow after school?" The voice was distant, for all I knew it could be a mile away. I wasn't exactly sure, and I really didn't care either. It was a simple question and I could've easily answered it with a nod or shake of my head. But I chose to ignore it. What did it matter? We'd see one another tomorrow anyways. And I wasn't exactly in the bonding mood.

"Yo, Macky, listen up." Something pinched my bare arm before twisting sharply, immediately making me yelp like a new born puppy as I jumped away from the offending assault. Grumbling angrily I could only glare at the wide, blue, doe eyes that held a fake aura of innocence. Innocent my butt.

"You called?" I asked, batting my eye lashes sweetly, knowing very well that my voice was anything but.

"Well I didn't mean to bother you…" Hannah trailed off, giving me a wink. I frowned, not in the mood to play along with her just out of pure amusement. Sighing out of annoyance she twirled around to talk with Jamie instead, leaving me to my thoughts once again. Leaning back on one of the very cheap cafeteria chairs I nibbled thoughtfully on a piece of celery - coincidentally the only thing edible among Forks cafeteria food. Not that it bothered me, I never really ate much anyways.

"So what's wrong with Macky?" I blinked at Hannah's voice, knowing fully well she was making another scene just to tick me off or to get me to talk to her. Which, I'll admit, has worked from time to time, but today I simply wasn't feeling it. The moment I woke up I knew that I'd probably end up going through school in a daze again; Monday's do tend to do that to people. But the really depressing thing is that I could never really have a _good_ Monday. Tuesday's were okay, I'd manage to muster up a good conversation once and awhile. Wednesday's were just tiring, half way through the week and all. Thursday's were the days that I actually could smile and be that social butterfly I once was; Thursday's always have been my good days. And Friday's were simply boring, not much to them.

"She seems to be having an off day." You'd think someone else would've answer Hannah, but no, instead she decided to carry on a very loud and active conversation with herself. For attention of course, not that it bothered me, just another distraction to keep people from trying to snap me out of my daze. All in all, I never really cared much when I was in a daze, and snapping me out of one could be considered dangerous so Hannah was really the only person who tried.

Which I guess could consider her as my best friend, noting that she actually _tries_. But to me, it was quite annoying. Aggravating, perhaps, for a better word.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Jamie and the others around the table snickered at Hannah's antics. I, however, put myself in neutral as I willed myself to concentrate on not thinking or hearing anything around me. It was better off that way anyway.

"Seems like it." Hannah continued to carry out a conversation between herself. And, I swear, one of these days a teacher's going to over hear and suggest Hannah to a psychiatrist, or maybe the schools guidance counselor. I don't really know how that works, maybe a therapist would be better?

"Should we cheer her up?" Hannah questioned to herself, and for a moment she seemed to be debating whether or not to do just that.

"I think we shall. Wonderful plan you have, Hannah." Even though my head was turned away, I knew that Hannah was probably patting herself on the back right now. She may be a friend, but she could be very irritable when she wanted to.

"Why _thank you_ Hannah." I rolled my eyes, offering a tight smile at her when she went to pinch me again. I don't know if they ever knew this, but I've come to realize that I do, in fact, get rather physically abused by my friends. Whether it's to "zap" my sides when they dig their fingers into my waist until I yelp in pain, or if they pinch me when I don't listen, or - the most common - when they smack me upside the head so I'd talk to them, or more correctly, yell at them.

"Don't touch me." I murmured before taking in a deep breath, my nose filling with a foul stench that could only be described as revolting and rotted. Almost as if a dozen carcasses were buried underneath the surface of the cafeteria floor and the heat was turned up on high, wavering the rotted and decayed skin and bones throughout the entire school.

Jamie sighed, and with a quick glance in her direction I could easily tell she was holding back an eye roll. So, to put it nicely, Jamie and I haven't really been the greatest of friends. I suppose we did hang out, maybe talk at one time or another, but we've never really covered a friendship basis. Acquaintances…_maybe. _We were technically enemies more than anything. Who knows? She could be secretly plotting my gruesome death. I never really did understand the teenage mind of bitter girls. I may be a teenager, but I certainly was not bitter. Depressed? Probably. But definitely not bitter.

"Relax, Macky, I wasn't going to hurt you." My head bowed down, that was a lie. I wouldn't know if Hannah actually meant it, or if she simply believed that her assaults didn't hurt me in anyway. In all honesty, I really did think Hannah and the others thought my yelps of pain - that sounded entirely too close to a yapping puppy for my liking - were for their amusement, and their amusement only. But as embarrassing as this is to admit, it's _not_. When I got hurt, I sounded like a wounded dog.

"Wanna bet?" Rhea teased, wriggling her eye brow in what I assumed was meant to be a comical way. And if Rhea would have been serious about the betting, she'd win. Hands down. I knew that Hannah was going in for probably the most scrutinizing pinch I've ever experienced, whether she knew it or not. Could've probably made me bleed if she wanted.

"Oh yeah? Then it's a bet." Hannah replied smugly, crossing her arms. And without thinking I couldn't help but let out a quiet relieved sigh to have her hands away from me. She was practically harmless, and I knew that I could stop it anytime. But I simply just didn't have it in me. The hitting and teasing my _friends_ did to me was the closest thing I get to affection. Even though that's the most desperate and pathetic thought and fact that I've come to known, I found 100% truth in it.

Mom never really stuck around long enough at home to actually get me to talk to her. She always seems so _uninterested_ in anything I had to say, let alone felt. So I simply didn't say anything. And if it weren't for my casual one word answers or questions, people would most likely assume me as mute. Hell, _I'd_ assume me as mute.

"Okay, you lose that bet." Rhea answered, giving a very…_Rhea_ smirk at Hannah's confused face of subtle distress.

"That made no sense." Hannah murmured, and if Rhea hadn't spoken up I would've thought Hannah was talking to herself again. Not that it was odd of _her_ to do so…it was just a Hannah thing to do.

"No one said I had to talk sense." The conversation took a very uninteresting turn, and it was the perfect opportunity to go back to my daydreaming. All I wanted to do now was go home. Not to see my mom, or to just get out of school, it was just the thought of going up the stairs, throwing on my most comfiest sweat pants and T-shirt before burrowing myself between dozens of pillows and writing in my journal. The only true comfort I've come to known.

It was the only thing that reminded me of my dad. The man who passed down his writing gene to me, his imagination, and his outlook on life. He was a bookworm - such as myself - and daydreamed any chance he got. Overall, I was a total daddy's girl. _Was_.

The sudden thought was painful enough to make my teeth snap sharply against my bottom lip. _Daddy_?

"Macky!" I looked up sharply, my gaze locking onto Hannah's concerned eyes. "Your bleeding." Huh? I licked my bottom lip, instantly tasting metal as my tongue met with blood. Crap. I fumbled with my cafeteria tray, only when I started to unwrap the plastic that held the napkin did I realize my fingers were shaking. No, not just my fingers, my whole body.

It was almost like my whole body shuddered with ice, my blood going cold as my bottom lip quivered. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I just wanted to do _something_. But I couldn't.

"Here." Grant leaned over, his warm hand covering my own in a gentle hold as he unwrapped the napkin with one hand, his eyes not once leaving my face even though my gaze was directed very keenly on his fingers.

"Thanks." I mumbled, dabbing my bottom lip with the napkin.

"You know you can talk to me, right, Kenzie?" I looked up from under my eye lashes, pressing the paper napkin to my bottom lip with as much pressure as I could. Grant's brown eyes were concerned and welcoming. I knew I could trust Grant, I knew that I'd be able to too. He was trustworthy, he'd be there for me when I'd want him to.

"Yes, I know." But he wouldn't understand.


	2. Lost Somewhere Beautiful

**~Author Note~**

Thank you reviewers and to all of those who favorite, or alerted the story, it means a lot:) I really do encourage all of you to give me an honest opinion and tell me what I should do to make the story better. And I want to thank the one's who have been doing that, it means a lot to me that you're willing to help build the story to - what I hope will become - perfection.

And for those who are confused about the point of view, the whole story is planned to be in Mackenzie's POV, unless listed otherwise. Just as a fair warning the story doesn't exactly go along the lines with Twilight. There is a Renesmee imprint like in Breaking Dawn but some things _are_ different. Just for the heads up.

Review? Tell me what you think.

**~Disclaimer~**

I own nothing Twilight; all belongs to Stephenie Meyer

**~Reality-Keeps-Me-Dreaming~**

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><p>This heart that I've followed<br>Has left me so hollow  
>That was then, this is now, yeah you have changed everything<br>Every time I see your face  
>My heart takes off on a high speed chase<br>Now don't be scared, it's only love  
>That we're falling in<p>

**Chapter two: **Lost Somewhere Beautiful

"I was thinking we could go to the beach," Hannah suggested, giving me a gentle nudge with her elbow whilst watching the teacher out of the corner of her eye. I sunk back in my chair, lazily fiddling with a loose piece of hair that came undone from my bun. The dark brown hair swinging limply in front of my face.

"Beach? It's like 20 degrees outside," I argued. She sighed heavily, her body slumping in her seat. A clear sign that she has given up on all hope for me today. Times like this I learn to really appreciate the greater things in life; such as Hannah's attention span. Long enough to carry a purpose, short enough to keep you from strangling her.

"You never play along," Hannah mumbled sourly, giving me a glare before pointing her attention to the front of the room.

"I execute my time to more important things," I answered glumly, making Hannah turn towards me long enough for me to catch her skeptical face and raised eye brow.

"We're 13, Macky, technically we should still be playing with our Barbie's," I grinned at this, not having it in me to be annoyed with Hannah. Despite my foul mood she did have a point.

"I tossed those plastic things out 5 years ago," I said, feeling my lips tug up into a wry smile. Hannah's face turned perplexed as she gave me a weird look. Which I easily returned in her direction in utter confusion. Was something on my face? Was my lip bleeding again?

"5 years ago? Crap, Macky, I tossed mine out a _week_ ago, maybe later. No joke," I blinked, giving her an amused smile. Leave it to Hannah to hold onto her Barbie dolls.

I opened my mouth to reply before the bell rang, cutting me off. Hannah gave me a small pat on the shoulder, seeming to toss me over her shoulder as she walked out of the classroom, not once saying a goodbye. I huffed, gathering my things together before carelessly tossing them into my backpack before moving my way out of the classroom door.

Another uneventful day…

"Macky!" I jumped at the sound of Grant's voice, my heart nearly tearing right through my chest as his hand clamped down on my shoulder. Having not enough time to scream I barely managed to let a strangled squeak escape past my lips before I was dragged backwards towards the other end of the hall, Grant's excited voice filling my ears. Unable to really process anything from my recent fright I focused on my breathing, just managing to make out the trembling of my hands.

"What's this about?" I asked, twisting my body so I was walking straight alongside of him. He grinned, an unknown but excited glint gleaming in his hazel eyes.

"You know that one Cullen girl? The one with the red hair?" my nose scrunched up, my thoughts processing all of the Cullen's faces, memorizing each and everyone one quickly. Despite their lack of socializing the Cullen's were very well known throughout the entire Fork's high school, mostly for their beauty of course…but well known nonetheless.

"What about her? Did she turn you straight or something?" Grant rolled his eyes, the grip he had on my hand tightening before picking up speed, not once answering my question.

"We might miss em'," he hinted, trying to run through the halls now.

"What do you mean?"

"There are these Natives or whatever in the main office, saying that they needed to see Renem- er, I mean, Reneen- no, _whatever _her name is pronto. They seemed urgent," my brows furrowed, and this was so important because…?

"They're hott," he added as an after thought, sparing me a very amused glance as my mouth made a perfect "o" shape in understanding.

Figures.

"How hott?" Hannah managed to randomly appear to my side in an instant, her eyes lighting up in wonderment and excitement. I just rolled my eyes, barely managing a smile at her enthusiasm.

"Scale of one to ten?" Grant suggested, making Hannah nod her head quickly, eyes wide.

"A billion and one."

"They sound hott," she agreed. And for some unknown reason, even to me, as we got closer to the main office a hysterical giggle was building it's way up in my chest. Kind of like butterflies when you speed down a big hill. Except for the fact that each butterfly that should be knotting up my stomach was clawing it's way up my throat, waiting to be released in a string of unattractive and crazy laughter. Tightening my grip on Grant's hand I smashed my lips together, trying to breath deeply so no sound would come out of my mouth.

"What's up with Macky?" Hannah asked, turning her attention towards Grant instead of asking me. Grant shrugged, a smile slowly creeping up to his face while he watched me bite back the hysterical giggles that were growing stronger with each step.

"I think she's just as excited to see the amazingly hott strangers as we are," He said evenly, not seeming shocked or surprised when a little high pitched giggle flew past my lips before I managed to clamp my mouth shut again.

"Is that it Macky? Are you exc_iiiiiiii_ted to see the sexy gorgeous strangers?" I shrugged, smiling shortly when Hannah shook my shoulders dramatically out of enthusiasm.

"She is!" she exclaimed, nearly jumping in her spot, "I can't believe it! My little Mackenzie is all grown up."

We all paused right in front of the office doors, hearing loud laughter and deep voices echoing from behind it. Hannah turned to face me, eyes wide to show her anticipation before she spun around and nearly tore open the door to get a look.

This whole situation was calling out for awkward. I wonder what the strangers will think about some teenagers nearly busting down the doors to ogle them? Surely if they were _that_ hott it wouldn't be that odd of an event…right?

"After you," Grant smiled, waving a hand in front of him while he held the door open for me. Doing a small curtsy I gladly walked through the door, unable to deny that I was just a _little_ excited to see how hott these guys actually were.

I can tell you one thing, and one thing only. _Nothing_ prepared me for the sight that I was now staring up at. Not even Hannah could speak. All she did was stand there, her eyes wide with shock and amazement. These guys were more than a billion and one on a one to ten scale, hell, I didn't even _know_ what they could be rated as. They were so beautiful that it seemed unnatural, unreal almost. They couldn't be human. I mean, I've seen the Cullen's, they are alluring and had an unworldly beauty to them, but these guys? They were so…so…

"Gorgeous," Hannah breathed. I nodded, feeling Grant rest a casual hand over my shoulder as he too appreciated the view he had in front of him. And through all of this it seemed almost as if we were ants or just little specks of dust. None of the men noticed us because they were still talking animatedly, some laughing, others pushing one another, it was like a mad house. And to think, they all fit in the office. I simply couldn't believe it.

And if I were still in a daze, this surely snapped me out of it. The moment I saw them my body buzzed with alertness, and I couldn't help but drink in every detail.

"What do you think?" Grant asked, a smile very clear in his voice. Hannah shook her head before blinking a couple of times.

"I think I'm in love."

"Ditto," I breathed. And almost as if I just screamed bloody murder every head turned in our direction simultaneously.

"May I help you?" All three of us directed our attention to the women at the front desk, her eyes clearly annoyed. Obviously she didn't like sharing the view.

"Oh!" Hannah gasped, seeming to just notice where she was. Grant's grip on my shoulder tightened before he shook my body gently.

"This one here," Grant started, pointing a finger in my direction, "isn't feeling too hott." All eyes flashed towards me, immediately making my face pale with embarrassment. Clearly knowing the sudden color of my face the women at the desk seemed to suddenly grow concerned.

"What's wrong?" the women asked, looking directly at me for an answer. But me being me I had absolutely nothing to say, I could still feel the eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. Alarmed I looked over at Grant for help, panic very clear in my eyes.

"Sick stomach," he rushed out, staring at me as my eyes widened with realization. He wanted me to fake it. Quickly I made my breathing shallow, trying to take in longer breaths as I loosely clutched my stomach with my arms. Hannah glared back at me over her shoulder, obviously finding my acting not convincing enough.

Jabbing me back in the stomach with her elbow I immediately gasped in pain - obviously Hannah meant to hurt me to get some other reaction out of me rather than my puppy yap, and she succeeded. With flying colors I may add. Clutching my stomach tighter I leaned forward, trying to gasp up air. Grant gripped my shoulders tighter, trying to keep me standing upright so I wouldn't do a head dive to the floor. But how could I nod? Hannah had one sharp elbow.

"Oh dear," the women muttered, getting up from her spot behind the desk as she scurried her way over to us. I blinked back tears as I looked up, almost instantly meeting a pair of green eyes. I gasped in shock as the guy sucked in a quick breath. Grant's fingers urgently dug into my shoulder, trying his best to keep me still while I swayed forward.

"Where does it hurt?" the women asked, taking me away from Grant's tight grip and leading me past the group of guys. My eyes stayed connected to the man with beautiful green orbs, unable to tear my gaze away.

"Oh that's okay," Hannah quipped, nearly yanking me away from the women with all her strength, "she's better now. Aren't you Macky?" Macky? Who's Macky? I couldn't remember my name, the only thing important was the man in front of me. Beautiful than ever, alluring, dangerous, handsome, he was positively perfect.

"Mackenzie!" Hannah trilled, shaking me out of focus.

"Huh?" I asked, blinking hard against the sight of her face.

"What do you mean _'huh?'_, Kenzie, we've been calling your name for a whole minute!" Grant exasperated, I scoffed whilst rolling my eyes.

"A whole minute? Really? Sorry to put you through so much pain," Grant smirked, patting me on the shoulder.

"Oh it's fine, my little Kenzie, I already forgive you."


End file.
